VALENTINE, Neb. — As the youth mental health crisis continues nationwide, research shows the parent-teen relationship is one of the strongest protective factors. A 10-year study found that kids who felt close to their parents were much less likely to struggle with depression.

But talking with teens isn’t always easy. That’s where Mike Donahue comes in.

Donahue is the director of Value Up, a program aimed at improving communication, school culture and youth well-being. Over the past three decades, he has spoken to more than a million students across the country. This week, he’s in Valentine, sharing his message with both parents and teens.

“The most vulnerable people on the planet are teenagers because they look like adults, so people take advantage of them. I hate that,” Donahue said.

Donahue believes teens want to talk with their parents, but too often it’s the parents who unknowingly shut down those conversations—sometimes by pressing too hard for information or dismissing issues they see as trivial.

“The tension that’s going on with their social world and their adult world is real to them. It’s more consequential now because of phones and social media,” Donahue said.

Valentine High School Principal Andy Cronin said Donahue’s message resonates with students, parents, and educators. Parents and guardians are encouraged to hear Donahue speak on Monday, Sept. 15, at 7 p.m. at the Valentine High School.

“He talks about the reasons behind the behavior,” Cronin said. “We just see a behavior sometimes as adults as a kid being a bad kid, not necessarily what’s influencing that behavior. Lots of times it’s directed back at the adults who have failed kids or have a lack of understanding or are trying to parent them in a way that we were parented because it worked for us.”

So what can parents do? Donahue says it starts with listening.

“Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen,” Donahue said. “Listen to what they’re trying to say to you. Don’t get them to try to talk to you differently. You listen different. Try to hear what they’re actually saying to you.”

He also advises parents not to confuse judging behavior with judging character.

“Don’t judge their heart,” Donahue said. “You have to judge their behavior. You have to navigate their behavior, but that’s different than judging their heart.”

According to Donahue, when teens feel their parents are truly listening, they feel less alone—and that connection can make all the difference.